Establishing Healthy Sleep Patterns

We've talked about the importance of sleep and the effects of sleep deprivation. I would now like to help you make sure your child sleeps enough as soundly as possible for as long as he or she needs. This may sound impossible in todays day and age as children become more over-stimulated as time goes on, but with a few helpful guidelines I hope to set you on a new path of a happier, more rested child and a less fatigued and frustrated you.

I will begin with the possibility that your child is being over-stimulated. As I mentioned above our world has become extremely over-stimulating for our young ones. There are several things that contribute to this. Toys, television, and other sources of entertainment for children have become much more stimulating over the years with lots of sounds, colors, and interactive features. For infants it could be that they are put into a bouncy seat that vibrates, plays music, and bounces all at the same time! For toddlers it might be their favorite toy that lights up, sings songs, changes colors and asks too many questions. For preschool kids it's probably all the commercials they are exposed to every ten minutes during their show.

I am not to say that any of the above reasons are bad or wrong, they are simply ways that our children have become over-stimulated making it more difficult to wind down at the end of the day. For an adult, sitting down on the couch after a long day at work is often very relaxing and sometimes puts us to sleep, it can have the opposite effect on children though. Their minds are searching desperately to store all of the information they pick up in a given moment. Our minds are use to it and just become tired. A child's brain watches television that is constantly moving with colors and pictures that change in milliseconds, and on top of the visual stimulation they also hear voices that change just as quickly from one character to the next. This is all a lot to take in for a young child. I am speaking specifically for infants and toddlers whose brains are still being built. Is it possible that he isn't settling down at a decent hour because his mind is going a million miles an hour? Is he playing in a room full of interactive toys right before bedtime, possibly even a specific computerized toy that really gets his brain going. Once again, exhausting for an adult, exciting for a child. It's important to remember that it has the opposite effect on kids to be surrounded by too much going on as opposed to us adults.

My suggestion is that after dinner, it is time to relax and not burn off energy. This is based off of my personal experience and observation, that children fall asleep much quicker after reading books, talking about their day, and/or doing something like coloring. For infants it may be that a soothing massage after a bath helps transition them into a calmer state where sleep is easily drifted into. Also, this is more quality time with you. If the majority of the evening is spent with quality time together then it is less likely that they will want to fight bedtime when it arrives.

If you have ruled out the possibility that over-stimulation is why your child has difficulty with bedtime then it is time to explore the option that he is being put to bed too late, or even that the bedtime routine should start earlier. I always suggest that the bedtime routine starts immediately after dinner. Your child (if old enough) could help you clean up the dishes and that way you can help them start bedtime right away. If baths are too stimulating for them, then plan a different part of the day for it, but if you find it helps relax your child then go ahead and start with that. Even older children like to get massages after a bath, so if they enjoy it then that may be exactly what they need to help put them in the state of relaxation before bedtime. Try using a lotion with calming scents.

Following a bath and massage if you choose to do so, can be reading time, it may even put you to sleep! This is a great ritual that your child probably looks forward to all day. It may even be the only time your child gets one on one attention and quality time from you if you are a working parent. Many parents find that letting their child watch a night time show specifically designed for children to watch before bed is helpful. I will not argue against it, but is that how you want your child to spend his time before bed? I am fully convinced that both you and your child will benefit more from cuddling together with books before bed as they listen to your voice and are allowed to ask questions and possibly interact with it. Not that the TV shows for kids can't be interactive, but nothing replaces quality time with you. TV is just an easy way out when you are too exhausted. I truly hope that after reading this post you and your child will get more quality sleep and you wont be so exhausted that you need to use TV to distract your child for you.

After reading, getting pajamas on and brushing teeth, your child should be ready to drift. Depending on how you have always put your child to sleep depends on how your child will fall asleep at this point. If your child was taught to self soothe as an infant, then you should be able to leave them in their bed now and not hear from them until morning, right? If you have always rocked or nursed them to sleep then this is likely what happens now. Which brings us to the argument of self soothing versus parental soothing or dependence. Either way you choose to put your child to sleep, you shouldn't hear from them again until morning. This is often not the case though. It is completely natural for children to wake during the night, as they spend 50% of their cycles in REM where their brains are developing as they sleep. Adults only spend 20% in this state. When going in and out of this state, babies awaken and either fall right back to sleep through self soothing or cry out for you to put them back to sleep as you did at the beginning of the night.

Since your child's infancy, if you are like most parents, you have struggled with the "right" method to put your child to sleep and keep them asleep. The most common two methods are Dr. Sears "Attachment Parenting" and Dr. Ferbers "Ferber Method" often known as the "Cry It Out" method. These doctors are well known and are easy to find information on. Going to your local library or simply Googling them will bring tons of information at your feet. Dr. Sears believes that babies cries should always be responded to immediately and that co-sleeping and breast feeding on demand is the best thing for your child. The Ferber method teaches that children are to be taught by 6 months of age to self soothe themselves to sleep by crying it out. There are many debates about both of these methods.

It is argued that the attachment method keeps children from learning to sleep on their own, causing them to cry for you or need the breast to fall back to sleep when they are going through lighter sleep cycles. This can be extremely exhausting and almost always leads to co-sleeping since your baby will depend on you to fall back to sleep during the numerous times he awakens in the night. On the other hand, the Ferber method can lead to your child lacking trust in you if his cries are not responded to. The child simply learns that when put in their crib it is time to sleep, no exceptions.

I am not going to tell you which method is best. You are the only one to determine how your child sleeps best. If rocking him to sleep and laying him in his crib every night is what keeps him asleep longest, then that's what you should do. If letting him cry for a few minutes actually teaches him to self soothe and stay asleep through all his sleep cycles, then that is what's best for that child. What I am getting at is that consistency is the key. Whatever you and your baby are comfortable with is what needs to happen every night. Without consistency your child will wake much more frequently during the night and during naps for your comfort. However you choose to do your bedtime routine, keep it familiar, expected, and consistent.

Does this all sound too easy? The truth is that nothing I have told you is ground breaking news, it's just difficult for parents to take the time to develop consistent routines and say no when your child thinks he can escape it. Let's go over it all again. No television or over-stimulating activities after a healthy dinner. Use the time after dinner to relax, bathe, read, maybe color, and wind down. Be consistent with your routine, giving exceptions to your child will be a downward spiral of arguing with your child every night about what happens next and how to extend bedtime. Put your child to bed early enough for him to get at least 10 to 12 hours of sleep, otherwise they will become overtired and sleep will become hours of excuses, tears, and unnecessary battles. Following these simple guidelines will help your child feel comforted and secure with bedtime. Good luck, and maybe my next post will be battling nap times!

The Importance of Sleep

I'm going to break up the importance of sleep for both children and adults into two parts over the next week. This first part will provide some valuable information on how important it is to make sure your child is obtaining enough quality sleep, as well as the symptoms of sleep deprivation or sleep disorders. The second part will address ways to enforce good sleeping habits.

Let's begin with making sure your child gets enough sleep according to how old they are. Now I am sure that this isn't the first time you have wondered if your child has been getting enough sleep. Chances are you have read many charts that tell you how many hours they should be sleeping. The truth is, none of these charts give a magic number of hours that you must leave them in their crib or room. The amount of sleep needed is determined by the way they react to life upon awakening. Which brings us to the symptoms of sleep deprivation or lack of sufficient sleep.

As adults, when we haven't been getting enough sleep or haven't gone through all five sleep cycles uninterrupted then we start to feel exhausted or fatigued throughout the day. If you don't sleep long enough to enter REM (rapid eye movement) cycle you will have problems concentrating and with short term memory, often becoming irritated with difficulty managing emotions. On average we need about seven to eight hours to feel fully rested. Everyone has their own individual needs, suggested amounts are based on what an average person needs determined by their behavior and performance.

Children respond similarly to lack of sleep expect for one thing. They often become hyperactive when they haven't had enough sleep. According to the American Psychological Association it isn't uncommon for sleep deprivation to develop into ADD or ADHD. Without uninterrupted sleep, they haven't entered REM enough times to replenish and strengthen the neurons that are still working constantly at their age to grow new nerve cells. This makes it difficult for a sleep deprived brain to concentrate or control itself. When a child isn't getting proper sleep due to many different things, they awake without the ability to manage their emotions. Which is why they cry and whine over things we see as silly things to be upset about. Children are already trying so hard to understand the world around them, the proper amount of sleep makes this process more pleasant with a rested mind and body.

So, how do you know if your child is really getting enough sleep? After all, isn't it normal for a child to scream and cry every time a toy is taken away or is asked to do something they don't feel like doing? My theory is if your child wakes up pleasant, smiling, and ready to play then they slept well. For infants this is nearly impossible to tell, because you don't know if their crankiness is from an upset stomach, hunger, pain, or another discomfort. Which is why there are charts! From birth to six months the average is fifteen to eighteen hours in a twenty four hour day. Six months to nine months the hours dwindle to about fourteen and a quarter, then to about thirteen and three quarters around a year old. From one to two years it goes to thirteen hours. These are all within twenty four hours, including naps. Usually they will sleep ten to twelve hours a night and nap two to three hours during the day. This only happens if they are put to bed early though. We will discuss that more in the next post! Once they go to school, they need at least eleven hours. By the time they are eighteen, they only need as much as we do, about eight.

If your child is described by any of the above symptoms, such as hyperactivity, difficulty falling asleep at night, frequently waking at night, having nightmares or terrors, having difficulty concentrating or focusing during the day, or poorly managing their emotions, then they are most likely not getting sufficient sleep. There are of course other things that contribute to poor sleep, but that's for the next post! Now that you know what you are dealing with and that your child isn't trying to be impossible, you will be able to better respond to him knowing that it's not his fault he has trouble listening to you. Remember, your child is his own person and it's not how much sleep he gets, but how he responds to the world upon awakening!

The next post will be up soon to provide valuable ways to make sure your child is sleeping enough.

Your Child's Nutrition: Part One

There is no beating around the bush in this post! I apologize ahead of time if this just ends up making you angry. On the other hand, I am thanking you ahead of time for taking the time to read yet another opinion on health. This is an extremely controversial topic these days, the foods we allow our children to consume.

I'm going to divide this into two parts; the first being important information you need to be aware of, and second part will give some guidelines and helpful tips on what you can do about it. Allow me to begin with what exactly our children are consuming.

There are many debates going on about the pesticides, chemicals, additives, and hormones added to our foods. Are they harming us? Is it causing behavioral disorders in our children? Are they linking it to the increasing rates of autism, ADD, ADHD, bipolar, and other learning disabilities? Are our food industries concerned of nothing but their profit? The truth is that I can not answer these questions. The budget America has to research such disorders and diseases is being put towards the drugs being used to treat the disorders, such as Ritalin, rather than researching what is being put into the foods we are consuming.

One thing I am certain of, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States, 2007, is that we consume more than 52 gallons of soft drinks and up to 200 lbs of sugar per year! This is an average of course, their are people who consume less which means their are others who consume more than that. The average teen alone consumes about a liter of pop a day, that's anywhere between 200 and 300 grams of sugar! We criticize and judge them for their emotional lows and highs that cause them to make irrational decisions. They have little control of the way they feel when their blood sugar levels are off the charts.

What does this mean to us? To many parents it's just sugar, so what? To be quite honest I don't need a pediatrician or scientist to tell me that there is no evidence to prove that the increase in sugar has no definite link to the growing numbers of people with depression, autism, ADD, anger issues, bipolar, schizophrenia, phobias, and social fears. I see it everywhere and the growing numbers are epidemic! Statisticians didn't even start tracking autism until 1991 and the numbers skyrocketed from 4,000 to 67,000 in just seven years. It is now estimated that every 1 in 150 children suffer from it. This is according to the US Department of Education.

We could say that the diagnostic formulas and procedures have changed making it seem that more children had it and never were diagnosed until recently, or we could take a step back in time and think about what we used to feed our bodies; farm raised meat, fish fresh from the rivers and oceans, fruits and vegetables grown without chemicals and pesticides, milk from cows that grazed the fields, without hormones added. Once upon a time it was rare or even unheard of to struggle daily with depression, concentration, headaches, and a number of other things people suffer from on a regular basis. Our brains were provided with the proper vitamins, minerals, amino acids, omega 3 and 6 fatty acids. There were no televisions for us to lose ourselves in either, we had to breath fresh air everyday and be exposed to the sun in order to gather our food which exposed us to even more vitamins. Our babies lived off of only mothers milk which even today offers more than any infant formula can. We will not be diving into the breast feeding versus Formula today though or the controversy over television, another time. I am targeting things that have changed in regards to our health over the years.

I have witnessed first hand, as have many parents, teachers, and caregivers, the effects that an unbalanced diet has on children and their ability to cope with their emotions and thoughts. I have taken care of many many children over the years and have personally witnessed the effects of their eating habits. I have had little to no control over most of it with only being a babysitter for so many years. Naturally I was mostly just an observer, until I started researching the effects that all the packaged food was having on them. I began asking the parents what their children's average diet was when I wasn't around. On average (aside from the few families I've worked for who fed their children strictly organic), a child eats some sort of sugary cereal for breakfast, usually Fruit Loops, Cocoa Puffs, or Lucky Charms, all having at least 12 grams of sugar (^^per serving?). Lunch is usually peanut butter and jelly, cookies, chips, and fruit snacks. Dinner is more often than not a fast food or prepackaged meal consisting of pizza or hot dogs. Where are the fruits and veggies? How has it come to this and why isn't the food industry or the FDA doing something? They have no reason to care when they are pulling in as much money as they are. That leaves it up to us, the ones in control of what are children are consuming.

I've recently read a book called The Crazy Makers: How the Food Industry is Destroying Our Brains and Harming Our Children. This has been the most knowledgeable and resourceful book I've ever read of the effects that todays food is having on our people. It's written by Carol Simontacchi, a board-certified clinical nutritionist and a professional member of the International and American Associations of Clinical Nutritionists. She provides statistics on where our world has come in the past century regarding nutrition and it's effects on our nation. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to further explore what it is we are being fed. This book has helped me to understand why I have seen such an attitude difference in the children being fed an American diet as opposed to an all natural or organic one.

Let me give you a specific example of one way I have witnessed the affects of nutrition and concentration. Keep in mind that there are many things that contribute to a child's attention span and frame of mind, I am merely presenting one of them. While teaching two four year olds to learn to read there was a very big difference in each of their attention spans. One was able to pay attention to the sounds of the letters and follow my voice and finger as I moved along each letter and word. We could go at this for half an hour before she felt the need to move onto another subject (which is rather good in today's four year old). The second child was distracted within one minute of sitting with me and looking at our books. He would start to fiddle with his pencil or stare out the window. After hearing me say his name a few times, his attention was once again redirected to the book. It would take him a few moments to remember what we were doing. After five minutes of trying to concentrate on me he grew very frustrated with it. In the meantime his friend was sitting at the other desk reading words out loud to herself, glowing with pride. The boy asked me, "Why can she read and I can't?" I replied, "Well, she's concentrating." The child replied, "What's concentrating?" I went on to explain that when she is looking at the letters she doesn't think about anything else, she isn't watching her pencil twirl around or listening to the birds outside. There is nothing wrong with paying attention to the birds or the pencil, but when a child's brain can not focus on one thing long enough to soak up all it has to offer in that time span, then he or she can never truly become professional or great in anything.

I continued to explain to the little boy that he can have better concentration skills if he chooses to eat better, more fruits, vegetables, milk that isn't chocolate, meat (he hated meat), and only choose one sweet a day. This child was fed atrociously by his parents. This was a couple years back and he is now reading much better. The other four year old always had very good eating habits, several servings of fruits and vegetables a day, organic milk and meat, no more than one sweet a day, usually consisting of a whole grain all natural cookie or organic ice cream low in sugar.

I understand that it is impossible to keep all sugar away from your child, lets be realistic. Unless you live on an Amish farm miles away from society than you will not be able to keep your child from being exposed to aisles in the the grocery store where his or her favorite Disney character is on a colorful box of cereal or Pop Tarts. Or where birthday parties and holiday celebrations offer a variety of desserts and chemical infested entrees. It is, however, possible to teach your children the importance of making healthy choices in everyday life. I can offer a few suggestions and ideas that have worked GREAT for me. These will be coming up in my next post in just a couple days!